Body Language Archives

How to Break into any Social Clique

Remember the cliques in high school?

That group of exclusive cool people. Some were on the inside, others on the outside. I was usually on the outside.

Even if you were not in the cool group, you still had your own clique. Some called us outcasts. Those outside the cool clique had one question:

How do I become part of the cool cliques?

I thought once I got to college there would be no more cliques. I was as wrong as the guy who said, “No one will want to buy a laptop.”

Cliques are everywhere. School, church, work, professional life, community, and more.

Here are four tips for joining virtually any clique and become part of the “in” crowd.

1. Be cool and not irritating

Not as hard as some people think. Improve your likeability, conversation skills, and stop a few irritating habits. Only 30 minutes with the right techniques can do wonders. The secrets are in the Conversation Success System.

2. Build relationships with individuals who are in the click

This is very powerful method. As you seek to use techniques from the Conversation Success System you will build those relationships. You will soon be part of the clique.

3. Add value

Recently, I visited a chess club. These 5 strangers were part of the chess clique. After 10 chess moves I was accepted and part of the group? Why. I showed I am a very good chess player. I bring value to their group.

4. Be Patient

You usually can’t break into cliques overnight. It may take weeks or months. However, apply the above strategies and you’ll be able to break into virtually any clique.


Jesus and Conversation Skills

We are back in the saddle and cranking out more conversation tips. Looks to be a hot one today.

11 words sum up one of the secrets to dynamic conversation skills.

Often I coach someone with an abrasive personality or poor conversation skills.

Nearly every time they are not applying these 11 words.

Jesus said these 11 words 2,000 years ago:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

– Treat people like you want to be treated.
– If you hate being interrupted, then don’t interrupt others.
– If you think it is weird when others crowd your personal space, don’t do it to others.
– If you don’t like to be made fun of, don’t to it to others.
– If you like to be listened to, listen.

Ask yourself, “Would I want to be treated the way I treat others?”

Analyze your life. Make some changes. You’ll see the results.

A Brilliant Relationship Tip

My friend Sara was deep into a serious relationship with a guy. It was at a point where they either take a step a forward and dive into engagement or cool it off and get back on the house market. (Thats a visual term I heard several years ago).

Sara told John, “I need to take a two week break to think about our relationship.”

Was John freaked out? Probably. He liked Sara and could feel her slipping away.

However, he did not make the fatal mistake that can ruin relationships.
He said OK. No complaints. No begging for mercy. No buying flowers to keep her from taking a mini break.
For 5 days there was no contact. No phone calls. No letters. No text messages.
On the sixth day, Sara calls John up and says, “I have clarified my thinking and want to continue the relationship and take it to the next level.”
What would you have done if you were John?
He made a brilliant move. He said, “Appreciate that, but you said two weeks, so we’ll wait two weeks.”
After another 9 days of no contact, they got back together and were quickly engaged. Then married. Now happy.
John understood how to play the courtship dance.
Do You?
Have a great day,
Austin Barnes


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