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Drama Queens, Robbers & What to Do

Do you have friends or coworkers who match this description:

  • Turn small things into a huge crisis.
  • Constantly gripe about life.
  • Keep calling you to complain and stress you out.

My mom calls them Drama Queens. My dad says they are robbers because they rob others of joy through their constant complaining an inability to rise above the small challenges of life.

We all have hardships in our life and are hit with down periods. During these times we need some encouragement and a shoulder to cry on.

However, do we need a friend to be a therapist for us every day about the small challenges in life? If so, we are probably acting like a drama queen and robbing the joy from our life and others.

In another post I’ll describe how we can rise above the dram in our life. For now let me bring you some freedom from the drama queens in your life.

How to Stop the Drama Queens in Your life From Robbing You of Your Joy

Phone Rings.

You: Hello

Drama Queen: Hi. Today was horrible. I overslept… My car got a flat tire… I don’t have many friends… the weather is horrible… (they launch into their sob story).

How do you respond? I used to listen and show sympathy.

Not anymore.

I’ll take that back. I’ll listen and show sympathy if this is an occasional occurrence and clearly a friend/acquaintance who just needs to vent once in awhile. However, if the person has a history of being a drama queen, I sharpen my scalpel and get ready for surgery.

Bluntly tell them how to solve their problem, yet be nice about it.

Interrupting. Jesse, You keep oversleeping, so you need two alarm clocks. Last week you told me the tire was low. If you had fixed it, you would not have this problem. You would have more friends if you quit complaining all the time. You can’t change the weather. If you change your attitude, your life will improve! I care for you and want to see rise above these challenges.

Be firm, yet nice. If they can’t handle the full dose of truth, consider rephrasing the above as questions.

You are exposing them to the truth that they are a drama queen.

Here is what can happen when you do this:

  • Some will get mad and quit calling you.
  • Some will pause and agree with you and thank you.
  • Some will get mad now and later change their ways.

Usually we are doing people a favor by helping them break out of their negative, drama filled ways.

Sound harsh? Could be, so use this technique with wisdom. However, if I let a friend or coworker continue down this path they can ruin their life, my life, and others.

Don’t let drama queens rob you of your joy. Do them and yourself a favor and use this technique.

For more techniques on handling difficult people, check out the Conversation Success System

Are You an Introvert or do You Lack Confidence & Training?

My friend John is an introvert.

He prefers reading books to hanging out with friends. His ideal job would be next to zero contact with others.

Introverts are individuals who naturally prefer their own thoughts and feelings to spending time with others.

Many introverts have poor conversation skills. Not John. He is a shining star in the darkness of poor conversation skills.

People enjoy talking with him.

Why? He knows how to listen and ask good questions (Covered extensively in the Conversation Success System). This is the #1 way that introverts can have great conversation skills.

Are you more an introvert (prefer time by yourself) or an extrovert (prefer time with others)?

Recently someone asked me, “Why are many people introverts?”

Great question!

 

Why Do Some People Prefer Books over People?

Two reasons.

One, they are like John and are naturally born that way. That’s OK. Many introverts are highly successful because they spend a lot of time thinking, problem solving, and getting things done instead of socializing. Smile

As we saw with John, you can be an introvert and have great conversation skills. 

Second, a person may tend to avoid others because they are not trained and confident in socializing with people.

Just like I used to be as a scared city driver.

City Driving & Avoiding People

I learned to drive in the country and loved it. No stop lights, minimal traffic, and almost no police! Motorway at twilightHowever, I avoided city driving at all costs. The busy traffic, left turns, and parallel parking made me nervous.

However, after taking a job in town I was forced to navigate the maze of traffic lights and honking cares. After learning the ways of city driving and practicing, I now enjoy city driving.

Being trained and confident makes city driving a breeze.

In the same way, you may like to avoid people because you lack the confidence and training. You are just a few techniques and some practice away from being like John and having great conversation skills!

If you need training and confidence, consider this:

1. Get training

2. Practice

It’s as simple as watching the video “Improve Your Conversation Skills in One Hour” and reviving the pocket guide. Next, apply just a few of the key points in your next conversation and you’ll gain confidence!

Sarah struggled with shyness and low confidence. In ten minutes she learned the power of the PRESS technique. Later that day she hung out with friends and felt a completely new level of confidence. She got the training and practiced the techniques.

You can be like Sue and John. Get the training, practice, and you’ll have fun with your new conversation skills.

Take Care,

Austin Barnes – Creator of the Conversation Success System

What to Say After “Hi”?

Chat

“Hi”

“Hello”

“How are you?”

“Fine”

“How about yourself?

“Great!”

…awkward silence.

Too many conversations start this way, flat line, and need life support. 

This can lead to no second date, a negative first impression, and missed networking opportunity.

There is a better way.

Start your conversation strong and you’ll have a good conversation and leave a good impression.

After you say “Hi” or they say “HI”, use a good question or comment to get the conversation flowing.

You: Hi

Them: Hello

You: That rain was nice

Them: Yes, it was.

You: Did it spoil your weekend plans?

Them: Yes. We were planning to camping, but chose a movie instead.

Now the conversation is flowing! You can keep flowing with more questions or using the Shask Technique.

Think of more phrases to uses after “Hello” or receive a whole list in the Conversation Success System

Don’t leave a negative impression or get mired in a conversation to nowhere. Use a comments and questions to have a dynamic conversation.

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