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5 Conversation Mistakes that Leave a Negative Impression

(C) Austin Barnes – 2014 All Rights Reserved

“What went wrong?”

I have walked away from conversations asking this question. You know what I mean. Sometimes a conversation is alive, fun, and flows smoothly. Other times it is rocky, boring, and at least one person wants to leave.

Not every conversation is going to be great. There can be a variety of reasons for this. However, from observing many conversations there are 5 mistakes that can kill an interaction.

Mistake #1: Showing little or no interest

No one likes to talk with someone who is not paying attention. It is frustrating to talk to a person who is looking away or is distracted. Don’t do this as a conversation partner.

If the person you are talking with is distracted, quit talking and pause. This will bring them back. Avoid this error by listening and focusing on the other person.

Another way people make this mistake is not asking questions or showing interest in what the other person just said.This is a big mistake which is easy to make.

You will impress a person and keep a conversation flowing by asking questions. Guys and girls often fail at dating due to ignoring this rule.  Commit this error and stifle the conversation. Avoid this error and be a success. Learn more how to avoid this in the Conversation Success System.

Mistake #2: Talking too much

Usually everyone enjoys talking. Not too many people like listening during the whole conversation. If we are talking 80 to 90 percent of the time, the other person is probably board and not listening. Recently, I heard that the number one mistake salesmen make is talking too much.

Every situation is different, but use questions to avoid talking over 50% of the time. Also, counting to four after the other person finishes talking can encourage them to talk more.

Mistake #3: Talking too little

Over talking is negative and can hind conversations. Under talking, though not as serious, can also lead to trouble. You have seen it in other people.

You: “How as your day?”
The reply: “Fine”

You: “How was the trip?”
The reply: “OK”

This conversation is going nowhere. Avoid this. Ditch the one word answers. If someone asks you a question, reply and add some fuel to keep the conversation flowing. However, don’t over due it. If it is a yes or no answer, just use yes or no. Don’t deliver a 30 minute speech in reply to “How was your day?”

Mistake #4: Criticizing or condemning what was just said.

Debate and discussion is good. Criticizing or condemning other people’s thoughts is like slapping them in the face. They will either get mad, back off, or leave the conversation. Not good. Criticizing and condemning can be done several ways:

• Saying, “You are wrong!”
• Implying they are dumb to think that way.
• Leaving an unfavorable pause that drips with your disagreement.

Instead seek to find out why the person thinks the way they do. With this attitude, you will avoid arguments, learn something, and also open the door for you to share your thoughts.

Here are a couple questions you can use:

• “How did you come to this conclusion?”
• “That is interesting? Tell me more.”

Be assertive and wisely share what you think, but do it in a polite way.

Mistake #5: Distracting Physical Mannerism.

The best conversationalist in the world can repel people if he or she carries on a conversation while standing 3 inches away. Ok. This is an extreme example. But the point is this: distracting physical mannerism can turn others off.

Here are a few:
• Standing too close. Stay roughly three feet away.
• Too much eye contact. This depends on the situation and the culture. If your eye contact is making the other person uncomfortable, reduce it.
• Too little eye contact. Look at the person you are talking to. Show you are interesting by making eye contact about 70% of the time when listening.
• Bad breath. Use mints, put on a mask (just kidding), or stand 10 feet away.
• Speech distractions. Talking too fast, too slow, too quiet, too loud, or mumbling can turn a person off.
• Fidgeting. Don’t sway, pace, tap, or do other fidgeting movements. They are a distraction. Ask a friend for help. A wise rule is to match your posture with theirs. If they have their arms folded, fold yours.

You can be great at conversation and leave a good impression. Be aware of these 5 conversation mistakes and work to fix them.

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