Question: How to Improve my People Skills

Break into any CliqueA reader asked me:

I feel shy around people and want to improve my people skills?

Great question. (Feel free to email me questions and I’ll answer them as time permits)

Having struggled with shyness, I feel your pain. It’s like a ball and chain holding us back from people.

Here is a good way to improve your conversation skills.

Pick one technique/idea and focus on applying it for three days. Then add another technique for another three days.

To many people get overwhelmed and try to apply twenty conversation tips at one time. It’s like trying to carry 20 cups of water at a time. 

Start slow and soon your subconscious will take over and you will naturally be great at conversation.

You’ll start to see results today. Gigantic results within a couple weeks. Your coworkers, family will be amazed by the transformation.

Just using Key #1 from the Conversation Success System will transform your skills immediately.

After a couple days, apply key #2.

The beauty of this is that you will automatically start to apply some of the other keys as you are focused on one technique.

You could use some sticky notes to remind you to keep applying  certain techniques.

It’s all about progress, not perfection

Dejunk your Conversation Skills

iron-gear-wheels-1405337-mTrust you had a good labor day weekend. 

We spent some time with family and dejunking the house.

Two SUV loads of stuff was carted to the Goodwill. 


I never have to stumble over that stuff again!

The pro’s say you should ask one question when dejunking

Does this enhance my life?

Great question which helps motivate us to dump the junk we have a love affair with.

This applies to conversation skills.

Our skills are made up of dozens of mannerisms, body language, words, patterns, etc. Some of these enhance our interactions with others and others detract.

My friend says “UM” about every sentence. That is junk that needs to be jettisoned.

Someone else talks for 20 minutes at a time without coming up for air. That habit should have been in the dumpster, yesterday.

Analyze yourself. What junk habits do you need to cart out of your life? You can get some Ideas in the Conversation Success System.

Pizza & Conversation Skills

homemade-pizza-pie-1424503-mEver get off on the wrong foot with someone?

Last night three friends and I walked into the local pizza place. Stirring aromas increased hunger pains as we stepped in the bright foyer.

For two minutes we stood there listening to the clanging of pizza pans as we waited for the hostess.

Finally, she arrived.

“Party of four?” the young short pretty waitress asked.


“Follow Me.”

Moments later sticky copies of the menus were laying in front of us.

“Do you want me to be your waiter or would you rather have Anne?”

I was taken back a moment and asked, “Excuse me!”

She repeated the question and I was still not sure what she met as I do not know an Anne who worked their.

She looked mildly irritated.

“You’ll be fine.”, I said as I flashed a smile and she strode away.

Irritated waitress mean poor service. Happy waitress mean good service. This relationship was going downhill fast.

I reached for a strategy taught in the Conversation Success System and started sprinkling the magic word through out mini conversations whenever she walked over.

She instantly perked up. Throughout the evening I continue to use this word.

She was quite cheerful by the end of the meal.

What is the word?

The other person’s name.

“Sarah, we will have two large pizzas. Thanks Sarah.”

“Thanks for checking Sarah.”

“Sarah, we enjoyed our meal.”


People instantly perk up when you use their name. How did I find her name? I glanced at the nametag.

Start using people’s name throughout the conversation. They will like you more and enjoy the sound of this magic word.

Learn more in the Conversation Success System

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