10 days ago I was left speechless.

Sam & I were visiting as he rang up my purchases at local store. The conversation turned to family gatherings. (I routinely use the techniques in the Conversation Success System to visit with clerks.)

Sam said, “We have gone to my wife’s family gathering twice. The first time we were there 10 minutes before a fight broke out. The second time 15 minutes. Then we left.”

Somewhat humorous, but heartbreaking.

Are your family gatherings filled with bickering, fighting, & conflict?

Here are 4 reasons why for some it is a fighting Christmas and not a merry Christmas.

#1: Holding on to grudges

People hurt each-other. Our words, our actions can leave deep wounds. You and I have been hurt by others and also caused hurt to the people around us.

These wounds often get reopened and cause World War III.

Let me illustrate.

Imagine someone took a hot potato and tossed it to you. It hits you in the hands. Immediately pain shoots though your hands and arms.

You have a choice. You can drop it and move on, or you can hold onto the hot potato. Drop it and you’ll have just a minor flash of pain. Hold on to it and you will burn your hands and cause longterm tenderness.

Many people are holding on to hurts (hot potatoes) from years past. They are quite sensitive. Say the wrong thing and their tender hands react in pain.

This is the cause of most blow ups. People refuse to forgive the past and let it go. They are in bondage.

If you find yourself locked in the prison of bitterness and holding grudges, check out this article and this one.

#2: Pushing each others hot buttons

My friend’s hot button is the Dallas Cowboys. Make a negative comment about them and he will flip out. We all have hot buttons. Keep the peace by seeking to avoid punching other people’s hot buttons.

#3: Raised voices

Ever see this happened? A person makes a statement. The second person raises their voice and makes another statement. The first person raises there voice too and world war III soon happens.

Follow the advice of King Solomon:

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Keep your voice calm and don’t escalate the situation.

#4: Too much alcohol

A couple of glasses of alcohol can have a profound impact on most people. Some get happy, others belligerent, and can lead to problems. Keep the drinking under control.

Your Christmas does not have to be filled with fighting. Have a Merry Christmas and use your excellent conversation skills learned from the Conversation Success System.

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!